


Internalized

by LumenInFusco



Series: Femslash Friday [2]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coming Out, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 16:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6478117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LumenInFusco/pseuds/LumenInFusco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For all the challenges and obstacles that Max and Chloe have overcome together, there are some challenges that aren't always obvious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Internalized

      Chloe: max

      Chloe: max max max max max

      Chloe: Massachusetts

      Chloe: dammit autocorrect

      Chloe: maaaaaaaax

      Max: Oh my god Chloe, what??

      Chloe: come home. now. got something u need to see

      Max: Can’t. Still at the gallery for another hour.

      Chloe: well u know I support the shit out of you but this is ur top priority as of right now

      Chloe: defcon 1

      Chloe: or 5

      Chloe: whichever one means it’s a hella big deal idk

      Max: I don’t know either.

      Max: Anyway, I’ll be home soon and you can show me then, okay?

      Chloe: FINE

      Chloe: ur lucky ur cute as shit

      Max: (^_^)

      Chloe: NO EMOJI

      Max: :o

      Max pocketed her phone. Whatever it was that Chloe wanted to show her, it sure had her excited.

* * *

      Max stared blankly at Chloe’s laptop. “Oh…my…GOD.”

      “So, what do you think?” Chloe asked, practically bouncing in her chair.

      “I think…I either really want to learn Japanese, or I really want to go to McDonald’s.”

      “Right? So, new plan: we both quit our jobs and go work at Japanese McDonald’s.”

      Max giggled. “How can there be a Japanese McDonald’s anywhere in the United States?”

      “We build one. Duh,” Chloe chuckled. “We call up the McDonald’s embassy in Japan!”

      “And tell them ‘Oh, hello, we are interested in building a Japanese version of an American restaurant in America’.”

      “’But only if we can use it as a breeding ground for new lesbians!’”

      Max suddenly clammed up.

      Chloe was quick to notice. “Max, come on…”

      “I’m sorry, it’s just…” She scratched the back of her neck. “You know it’s still hard for me to use that word.”

      Chloe’s mood had soured quickly. “Yeah. I get it,” she snapped. “Max Caulfield hooks up with girls, but don’t you dare say she’s gay or call her a lesbian for it.” Chloe held her hands out in front of her. “Those words are just for dirty queers like Chloe Price!”

      “Don’t be like that,” Max protested. “You know how much I care for you, it’s just hard for me to…I mean…”

      “Whatever, dude,” Chloe scoffed, grabbing her pack of cigarettes from her desk as she started for the door. “I need some air.”

      “Chloe, come on! I just don’t – after all the shit we went through, I just want to feel normal, okay?”

      Chloe shot Max a look that made her instantly regret her choice of words. The only time she could remember seeing that much intense rage in Chloe’s eyes was the first time she watched her argue with her stepfather. “’Normal’. Right. Well I’m sorry to have to be the one that ruined your perfect fucking ‘normal’ life! I’m so sorry to stand in the way of whatever you think ‘normal’ is! I am so hella fucking sorry that I can’t be ‘normal’ enough for you to be proud of who you are!” Chloe stomped out of the bedroom and slammed the door behind her.

      “Chloe!” Max called out after her, knowing full well it was too late. She sighed and slumped in her seat. She would need to take a few deep breaths and time to gather her thoughts before this could continue, and Chloe would need the same.

* * *

      By the time Max made it outside, Chloe was sitting on the curb, staring off into the distance, lit cigarette between her fingers as she rested her forearms on her knees. Max cautiously sat beside her, craning her neck to try to get a look at Chloe’s face. Neither one of them spoke for what felt like hours. Why was this so difficult for her to talk about? Struggle as she might, she never could put her finger on it. It felt as though Max had this huge mental barrier around the idea of actually saying the words that came so easily to Chloe. She was having trouble even thinking those words at that very moment. For all of the outlandish, supernatural experiences the two had shared, Max could definitely recognize the irony of being so utterly confounded by something that felt so trivial and mundane.

      A cloud cover was forming, and the humid air was filled with the scent of coming rain. It rained often and through most of the year, so this was hardly surprising to Max. At times, she would wish that the sunshine would last for just a little bit longer between downpours, but in the end she knew that the rain fell because it must.

       “It’s not like it was easy for me either,” Chloe finally said.

      The silence, though broken, hung in the air for just a while longer.

      Chloe took a long, deep drag from her cigarette. “I don’t know if you noticed, but Arcadia Bay was kind of a hick shithole.”

      Max leaned in closer to Chloe, listening intently.

      “About a year before you came back, I was fighting with my mom about something. God, I don’t even remember what it was about.” She took another pull. The edge was completely gone from her voice. “She brings up one of the times she caught me with some guy in my room, and I just…I said something like ‘Well, you’re not gonna have to worry about that anymore, Mom! Because it turns out your precious daughter is a full-time fucking dyke!’”

      Max unconsciously shifted her weight a bit, doing her best to conceal her discomfort with the much stronger word. “Jesus,” she said. “I bet that got a reaction.”

      Chloe gently blew out a plume of smoke. “Not really. She just kind of looked at me in shock for the longest time. I didn’t even realize what I just said, but I remember all of a sudden getting really scared.” She inhaled again, taking the last of the cigarette’s length. “But y’know, she was cool about it. We actually had a pretty chill conversation for once.”

      “So what happened?”

      Chloe shrugged, turning her gaze downward as she flicked away the spent butt. “She told somebody. I don’t know who. Whoever it was told someone else, and they told someone else, and by the time I got to school the next Monday all of Blackwell was giving me weird looks.” Chloe crossed her arms over her knees, pulling into herself.

      “Holy shit, Chloe…” Max put her hand on top of Chloe’s. “I had no idea. That must have been so horrible.”

      “Yeah,” Chloe said flatly. “No shit it was horrible. You have no idea how alone I felt. Like everyone was watching me, wanting to know what weird gay thing I might do. I remember some punkass Jesus freak telling me she was praying for me one day.”

      “Not Kate…”

      Chloe’s expression softened as Max saw the slightest hint of a smile cross her lips. “No, it was this girl named Samantha. She graduated and left town before you came back, I think. Kate was actually really cool about it. I think she found out later than everyone else, but when she did, she just gave me a big hug and told me how happy she was that I’d found my ‘honest self’.” She relaxed her posture. “Or something. That whole week is kind of a blur. For a hella long time, Kate felt like the only friend I had at that fucking school.”

      “What about Rachel Amber?”

      Chloe’s expression softly turned to a full, unqualified smile. “Rachel was the first person I wanted to tell and the last person I wanted to find out. She was out sick for a while. Think she had pneumonia or something. We were texting, and I was hella scared of what she might think when she found out.”

      “But she had to have found out anyway.”

      “When I told her, she didn’t laugh, but I could tell she wanted to.” Chloe’s smile widened. “She said she always knew, and it was nice to finally have another queer girl to talk to. I guess it was pretty obvious.” She sighed wistfully. “Still, it was hard to feel ‘normal’ after all of that.”

      Max smiled too. “I guess ‘normal’ went out the window for me a long time ago,” she mused. “Maybe even longer than I realized.”

      “Yeah?”

      “Yeah…” Max sighed. “I’ve been thinking a lot about when we were kids. I remember thinking that I knew what was supposed to happen, that I was supposed to start noticing guys and start wanting to be with them. And I kept waiting for that to happen.” She tightened her grip on Chloe’s hand. “I kept waiting for some guy to come along and make me feel the way you made me feel. But it never happened. Not in Arcadia Bay, not in Seattle…” She drew a breath. “And then you came back into my life and…I knew.”

      “Getting time control powers probably didn’t help you feel normal at all either,” Chloe smirked. Another round of silence stretched into the air. The sun was beginning its slow descent into the horizon, setting the cloud cover ablaze with color. The musty smell of rain was getting stronger, and the sound of distantly rolling thunder was approaching. “So neither of us are normal. Is that really so bad for you?”

      “I’m really sorry I said that,” Max answered.

      Chloe finally turned to look Max in the eye. “Listen. I’m glad you didn’t rewind on it. I know you swore off ever using your power again, but still.”

      “I wouldn’t do that anyway.” Max took a moment to collect her thoughts before continuing. “I never really feel like I have to, with you. Even when we end up getting pissed off at each other, I still always feel like it’s okay to say the wrong thing to you sometimes. That we’ll still be okay.”

      “Because we will be,” Chloe smiled. “Always. As long as we’re together.”

      Max leaned in and wrapped her arms around Chloe, who lightly gripped her wrist in response. For a while, Max just listened to Chloe’s breathing into her shirt’s sleeve, taking in the rhythmic and soothing sound. Finally, she released her. “Let’s go back inside before this rain hits.”

      “Wait…” Chloe said. “Can I tell you something before we go?”

      “Anything.”

      “When I looked at Rachel for the first time, my brain went ‘holy shit, turns out I like girls’. But when I saw you again for the first time after five years? That’s when my brain went ‘holy shit, turns out I’ve always liked girls’.” She paused. “I just…wanted you to know that.”

      Max only smiled, standing up and offering Chloe her hand to help her up.

* * *

      By the time the pair made it back up to their room, the rain had made good on its promise. Raindrops splashed against the window pane, filling their small apartment with a unique ambiance. Max watched as Chloe picked up her guitar, as she often did when the weather turned gloomy like this.

      Chloe sat down on the bed and strummed a few chords before looking up at Max. “Any requests, hippie?”

      Max grinned. “You know what I want to hear,” she said, sitting to Chloe’s right.

      Chloe nodded. “Can’t go wrong with a classic!” She tested a few notes before settling into a familiar rhythm. She let one note linger before she began to sing.

_“Let’s say ‘sunshine for everyone’_   
_But as far as I can remember_   
_We’ve been migratory animals_  
_Living under changing weather…_ Come on girl, harmonize! _”_

      Max only nestled herself beside Chloe as she played, content just to listen for now.

_“Today we will sell our uniform_  
_Live together, live together”_

      Max closed her eyes, allowing herself to be swept up into the song, and in the soft, melodious voice of her girlfriend.

_Girlfriend,_ she repeated in her mind.

      It felt easier that time.

      “ _We played hide-and-seek in waterfalls_  
_We were younger, we were younger”_

      Max smiled. She knew that the adjustment wasn’t going to happen instantly, but she could, at the very least, put forth some effort.

_“Someday we will force the obstacles_  
_Through the blizzard, through the blizzard”_ Chloe rested her hands on the body of her guitar.

      Max opened her eyes. “Can we go get some McDonald’s later?”

      “Sure thing,” Chloe said. “Pick up some job applications while we’re there.”

      “Only if a cute lesbian asks us if we want to work with her. Otherwise, no deal.”

      Chloe looked over at Max, smiling as she awkwardly moved her arm around her waist. “Atta girl,” she said, kissing her cheek.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Ask me about my headcanons. Or wait for me to write about them, as I surely will.
> 
> Thus far I am 0 for 2 on "getting these Femslash Friday stories out on time". I swear I will eventually get on top of this, especially now that my internet is working again. Stay tuned!
> 
> I do not represent any of the entities, corporate or otherwise, mentioned in the preceding fanfic. That said, you should all go look up the McYuri video if you haven't already.


End file.
